I was 39 years old in 1993 the year my mother took her journey home. We shared many similarities as we were both caretakers. I realized I did not want to walk the path she walked and a part of me “knew” it was time to do things differently. I found tools that I needed and took steps to figure out my spiritual path, as I had an uncanny knowing of spiritual truths. In my heart I was always spiritual and believed concepts no one else in my biological “tribe’ did.
The path was challenging, difficult and rewarding for me and for others around me. I was changing, quickly. I began to awaken to my innate powers and raised perceptions to embody the healer that was growing inside me. My whole outer world began to change to match what was inside me. I would discover later this is crow medicine, the magic of shape shifting and change.
I have always been strong, emotionally open and available for people. I now know that is my greatest asset and also my greatest challenge. In my early years I was lost in others energy and emotions. I was not taught nor did I have the awareness of how I was helping others and at the same time hurting myself. It took time to learn to balance my empathy. Crow was about to change that for me.
Part of my spiritual training was in Reiki and Shamanism. In these practices I learned to work with spirit guides in human and animal form, opening me to awareness of the gifts they offer. I find the earth and nature to be a sacred place and feel at home in that world.
Several years after I began this journey, I was living in Anaheim California in a condominium complex in an upstairs unit. It was built in a large circle which was wonderful to walk, which I did every morning. It was lush and beautifully landscaped and there were crows everywhere! I had come across hawks as well in my morning ritual walk. Daily the crows would leave me feathers as did the hawks on occasion. The crow seemed to always be there with me. They would caw and I would look down and there the feathers would be. One morning I saw 3 large feathers on the ground. I acknowledged them as a sacred gift and thought; I don’t want to be greedy. I will let the earth have them.
The next day as I came down my stairs there they were, the 3 feathers as if they were placed there as a gift. I laughed with joy and I knew they wanted me to have them.
It felt natural to me to listen to the symbols of the universe placed before me. There were lessons from the crow I knew I needed to learn. I studied crow and placed the feathers on my altar for guidance. I learned the medicine of crow is about law. Not man’s law, sacred law. It is steeped in the feminine as all things flow from women.
In native teaching and keeper of sacred law, crow can bend the laws of the physical universe and “shape shift”. For me the meaning was apparent, shift yourself into living in personal integrity to use my own truth as my guide.
Crow guided me through experiences to re-align my personal will, which had been lost to me, to re- emerge through my integrity, a process of becoming honest. It was my choice to utilize this medicine as power animals show us how to have a deeper understanding of our spiritual nature, an integration of the characteristics they share with us. It was time to let go of how I serve and learn how to use empathy with compassion.
One thing stood out, I had to be willing to walk, talk and hold true to my future self!
Crow is a mirror to creating a new reality and lives in the void, where there is no time or space. One must learn to “caw” the shots in their own life and go into the mystery to surrender who I was and to shift what was enfolding.
This was a process, one that took time to uncover. It was the “peeling” of the onion something I live with knowing that is how we evolve. I took my time learning who I was and letting go of old ways. I do not believe there is a “there”. We are in a constant state of evolution and all energy is on its way somewhere. We are the determiners of energy; we have the power to wield energy into whatever form we choose.
Crows are resourceful, clever and highly intelligent. They remember who treats them well. Crow shows us how to speak in a powerful voice in accordance to things that are not balanced, a perfect medicine to teach how to keep balanced.
16 years after my mother’s passing my father took his journey, these are the years I was discovering and developing my power. I was in the parking lot of a shopping center and 2 crows caught my attention as I was parking and swooped by the car and flew in a beautiful pattern above me, making several passes. I watched in awe as it was a message from my parents; they were soaring in the heavens together, free from the physical world as they returned to the void to shift and create the next steps of their journey. I felt a sense of peace, that all is well! Fortuitous was the crow that delivered the message of affirmation for how I had chosen to live my life different than how I was raised. I claimed the power of knowing I had my own path to walk and I must do it in alignment with my spirit, I felt celebrated!
I am honored crow came to me; in a time I really needed it and stayed with me. Discovering what is within is something we do alone, yet we are not alone. Each and every step of the journey there is guidance for us, if we take the time to see what is there. It is a map to the soul.
I am humbled by the grace of all the kingdoms offering us there medicine, guidance and truths, to connect us to our true essence!